12/2/2012-Sunday

Holla my bloggie, it's Sunday and today was a pretty boring day. So lifeless driving a car to no where. The parent seriously turning me upside down. Daddy mumble to me about her yet mummy drag me to be her listener. I understand that they need a listener so badly but why at this moment? They used to hide from my brothers just because they doesn't want to give them pressure. So, what about me? For your information, my parent's voice is like...
LION KING AND TIGER WOMAN ROARING IN THE JUNGLE! I'm real in bad mood today..feels like finding someone to accompany but ended up, i gave up this thought. I know i shouldn't find him so all I do is just control myself not to text him nor call him.
After giving mummy a ride to office, I drove alone to somewhere else..just don't know where to go, what to do. I stopped at a road side, looking upon the sky, listen to radio songs. Apparently, memang a silly girl!I think i have weird habit like ..love to stay inside the car. Passerby often stared on me and i was like..NOT YOUR BUSINESS PLEASE! I'm pretty sure everyone needs a little space for sometime. And as for me, I did the same thing too. I can stay alone inside the car for 2 hours!? Shopping alone for whole day? But one thing, I hate to eat alone :( What else?? I HATE TO STAY ALONE at home too ..sigh! I don't know how to deal with family issues like please oh please, I hope no more argument after this. Daddy and mummy really can threw off whatever shit and crap to each other like.." You go die!" I was like..Gosh, you two had gone through so much and pay freaking lot of effort to build up this family. Why scold like that? I even cried inside the car and questioning myself..why am I such a failure? I can't handle everything all at a time.
Until night, I had dinner with mummy. Just both of us..I never voice out a single word. I knew she was very upset about daddy. I started to wonder we teenager love to gather with friends, yum cha everyday, club, drink or whatever. We used to be so close and share our thoughts to friend but how come not family? All of sudden, I feel so sorry to my parent. I strongly believe that they would like to know what is my life is going about but what? They wouldn't accept the fact we young adults been so over..stay up late every night, play eat sleep all day! That's how we act when we are young right? I bet when I have my children and husband, I wish we could share out and have talk for once in a while. There comes heavy rain, how I wish I can run to outside and let the rain over me!
I cannot deny that his tweet have the ability to affect my mood. Like vs love..how do you think? I have so much of thought after I saw his tweet and....I know myself well, if I spend all my time against this person, I'm sure my love towards him will goes deep down. So since he move backward, what should I do at this point? I'm so lost! Telling myself not to go ahead on you anymore because if we attach again, lotsa of problem will pops out. Eventually, we ended up with tears, sorrow, argument and pain. So I think why me? I'm just a girl who need a guy who can protect and love me no matter what. Why I'm not allow to have this chance? Now I saw every where, people, facebook, twitter are talking about Valentine..Sadly, I gonna spend my 21st Valentine alone again! sigh =(