
After so many hours of headache, am completely exhausted! You know what? Headache is hell disturb..as if you're overstretching your muscles! It is so awful. Has got tortured since last night until this afternoon so likely,I couldn't fall a pretty slumber. Or I should state in proper way..I don't usually SLEEP! This is so gaga to a 18 teenage girl. I always do hope I could sleep soundly without dreaming and it's pretty hard! Dreaming is like turned to be part of my life! No matter how stressful,and tiresome I am, I still can't runaway from dreaming! Stress is even kills me faster that I'll awaken at least for 2 or 3 times. Now is even more worst that I had nightmare straight in a row which makes me into terrible ill! I can feel my heart beating very fast and tears surely rolling down from my sleepy eye!
So many thoughts in my mind right now.. Imagine a girl who scare of nighttime just because worry so much of how to sleep? How silly it is? I know continually behaving like this is very bad to health and am started to feel my health deteriorating included the mental as well. Why choose me? Why keeps blocked my way? Frankly, 2009 definitely is not a good year to me. I wholly change my behaviour, I did something hurt myself which I feel so embarrassed! I couldn't accept this as a fact and so I got no way to speak it loud I'm ok! I hardly trust a person now..don't blame me!! Of course friends and family gave me lots of support and hold me tightly. I have to apologize here because I've disappointed u guys again. For certain people, they interpret thingy differently,they will see their sunlight in the darkness just I'm the unlucky one. Am so low-spirited for this few months..No way to sense my feeling! I never admit I'm weak because on certain occasions, these uneasy thingy pushed me to be more alert. I can cry easily but this is human emotion can? I'm so wish to have a shoulder let me lay on. What's so hard to find a right one? Am I the one who got no gut to lay on or still holding the past tense? It doesn't matter actually..I can't do anything! Just wait for the right time..
Rainy season seemed to gone and I saw a bright sun today. This is not the exact of my sunlight. Whether it's shine on you or not, just depends on yourself. I just want a great sunlight which made me sweat like a moron bitch and a cup of tasty tea! Waitme!! There surely will be a day I blog with a smiley face. What I meant is real happy.
The headache is back to me..I should off from my blog now!